It's time to go woke
We make snacks from whole foods for people who love being healthy, but the powers that be have decided real food is 'bad' so we've decided to make ultra processed snacks for people who don't like meat but want to eat plants that taste like meat.
Yummy
The new margarine
A few years ago we convinced you butter was bad and vegetable oils are great! Now you've figured out that was a lie we're changing with the times. Meat is bad and vegetable oils are great!
#greatmargin
Made from water!
When water is the first ingredient in our fake meat, you can be sure it's a good thing... for us! Our margin is awesome, thank you!
#Industrialfarming
And genetically modified soy!
We think the best way to save the planet is to do more of what's destroying the planet. The best bit? Once we convince you to stop eating meat we'll need to grow more monocropped GMO soy! Yay!
#inflamation
And yummy vegetable oil!
Did you know Sunflower oil is a great lubricant for machinery? Now it can lubricate your wallet too! All while creating inflammation in your body, what's not to love!
#Sugar
Don't forget about Dextrose!
We don't want you to think we're adding sugar to your fake meat, no no no... we've called it Dextrose instead, genius!
#Aprilfools
Just messin' around
Don't worry, we haven't lost our marbles. Fake meats are not a health food, and not all that great for the planet either. We'd love your help to spread the word:
